Sunday, October 25

12

Special Story: A Letter to my Husband




Before I met you, I was on the verge of giving up.

I thought I had lost it all.

There wasn’t a single thing sustaining my very own existence any more.

I had nothing more I was living for.


I was merely a walking corpse.

A flimsy shadow of my old self fluttering about in the wind.

You told me it was okay to feel so empty, so rejected, so frustrated.

But then you said one other thing.

You said it is the duty of angels to scout for souls like mine. You said I was yours to hold, yours to keep, to cherish and to cater for.

You said you were sent to me from beyond.

It was honesty like I never knew it.

I believed you. I believed in you.

And gradually you nursed me back to life.

You are the most patient soul I’ve ever come across.

You became all that I thought I had lost. My everything.

But then you lied to me. Yes, you did.

You didn’t tell me the whole truth.

You didn’t tell me angels do not live forever.

You never mentioned you will leave me.

You never mentioned anything of sort to me.

Never mentioned you were weak, even weaker than I am.

You acted so strong that I did not know anything.

Neither your pain nor the soreness you lived through all night.

I did not know that you gave up living for me.

If my liver were double, I would have gladly given you one.

Maybe if you had told me, I would have given up mine for you.

What do I need it for now anyways? When you are no longer here with me?

What is life without you beside me?

What is it worth to live when I will no longer breathe your scent?

What is sleep if not in your arms?

You said I should be strong but how dare you?

How could you say I should be strong when you are the only strength I know?

How dare you leave me?

How dare you, Paul, how dare you?

I can’t do this.

I really can’t.

Can never say it.

Goodbye, no! Will never say it to you!

I will never.

Never!

If only you know how awfully quiet it feels in here now.

If only you know what our son say to me every night.

If only you know the questions he asks.

I’m dead.

I’m gone without you.

Please come back.

Come back to me, please!

Come back, baby. Please!

Please, I beg you.

If you can hear me, please come back.

Please…

Please…

12 comments:

  1. Hmmm... Death, how painful.It can only take time buh U will surely heal. Take heart

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  2. This broke my heart. God will heal you. Tnk heart my love

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  3. Its not easy to lose a loved one. so sorry dear

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  4. Anytime DBN post a piece such as dis,they got me devastated. I so much hate death,but it's really a debt we all owe n will pay sooner or later. Bt I pray ours shld come later wit our gr8 gand children surrounding our bed. Amen

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  5. Oh Death!!! the invisible personality that separates LOVED ONES, AS IT CAPTURES THE POOR IT CAPTURES THE RICH. It hurts to say goodbye, soo sad and pathetic, this piece got me teary in the Heart, my Jaw fell. May the Almighty comfort you and your son, may He comfort the Bereaved, may the Stings of Death be far from our dwelling In Jesus Name.

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    Replies
    1. Amen. May it be far from our dwelling

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  6. Oh death, where is thy sting. The Lord will comfort you, amen

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  7. The pain in this story is palpable. Hang in there for your son.

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