Friday, October 9

27

Flash Story: Sister Kate and her Wandering Mind

by Ogunro Temiloluwa



The thoughts that ran through my mind as I sat quietly in the church during sermon that Sunday were simply amazing.

At the front, Pastor Isaiah’s loud voice was distributing the word of God in commanding packages.

Truth is, my physical body was present in the church, but my mind definitely was in my kitchen, arranging my pots, selecting the ones that should be used for lunch, carrying out the stew from the freezer and microwaving it.


A ball of stew-covered pounded yam travelled down my throat and I swallowed in church.

I really can’t wait to get home after service.

From my left, Bro James’s hand tapped me, jolting me back to reality.

‘What verse of 1st Samuel is the pastor reading,’ he asked.

I looked down on my bible and realised it was still open to Mark 4, the text the pastor read about 30 minutes ago or so.

Obviously having noticed I can’t help him, James turned to ask another person.

I sighed and called on my focus; the pastor was talking excitedly about prosperity now, my favourite sermon topic.

As he kept on charging the congregation to seek first the kingdom of God and then allow other things to be added unto them, I suddenly remembered that the M.D of our company promised to add a little change to our September salary to celebrate the Muslim holiday.

Immediately, my wandering mind did a little break dance out of joy, yet on the outside I appeared every inch calm and attentive.

Quickly, I made a mental note to ping Ayomide after service. I remembered seeing one charming gown on her DP last night. It will perfectly match the black suede heels I got on credit the previous week.

Gbam! My outfit to work on Monday has been mentally arranged.

I smiled to myself, happy and contented.

Looking up, I noticed an usher was staring at me with questions in his eyes.

I quickly cleared the smile from my face before he began to think that I needed pastoral deliverance.

I peeped into Bro James's Bible and saw that it was now open to Galatians 5. I quickly opened mine to the same passage.

Back into my mind, I imagined myself getting out of the cab and strutting into the office with my new gown and shoes.

I could see all those girls in my office with their toothpick legs (God forgive me) bending to pick their jaws from the ground.

I was about smiling again when a new thought crept up within me and I hissed in regret.

If only I had my own car like Chioma, chai! Stepping out of a cab will never be as eye-catching as stepping out of a jeep jare!

‘Please rise up on your feet’, I heard the pastor say and suddenly jumped up on my feet.

Looking round, I discovered I was the only one standing.

Then it hit me like a blow—it was an altar call. Because I was not attentive, I hadn’t heard that part.

Engulfed in hot shame, I, a whole Believer's Class teacher, carried my bible and other belongings and walked to the altar to give my life to Christ again.

***
Meet Temi on Twitter @T3mmie.

27 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha! this should have been titled---real life story-- because it happens in every church in the world.Listening and not hearing what is being said!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahahahahahaaaa! This had made my day. So funny.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lolzzzzzz! Dis is true. I too, do hv a wandering mind n its a lesson to me right now to try to focus esp in church so as nt to fall a victim of unprepared alter call again n again! I luv dis piece...

    ReplyDelete
  4. this is wonderful. God should help us so that Satan will not be punishing us secretly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha...Believers' Class teacher indeed
      Nma's Blog 

      Delete
  5. I couldn't refrain from commenting. Well written!

    My site :: demand-design.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahahaha....this made my day

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahahahahahahah....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow! Wonderful, wandering minds, it happens a lot in church. May God help us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahahahaha! Lmao! Good for her.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow thanks alot for publishing my story DNB
    And thanks for the amazing comments everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Temi's story is a norm, not just in churches but at board meetings too. One would be in a meeting and his mind would be somewhere else, the M.D throws a question at you and you're lost cos your mind has been wandering.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lmao this is really funny...ure really talented.Ogunro Temiloluwa

    ReplyDelete
  13. I can totally relate. Very cool story. Always happy to read something refreshing after work.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are issues of life. Like most comments, it can happen to anyone who hasn't being guarding his/her heart with God's word all the time. God will help us

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lol,jeez! .....nice one temmy.
    P.S u shld really cme nd get dat gown *winks*.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Howdy! I know this is kind of off-topic but I needed to ask.
    Does building a well-established blog such as yours require a large amount of
    work? I am brand new to operating a blog however I do write
    in my diary every day. I'd like to start a blog so I will be able
    to share my own experience and thoughts online.
    Please let me know if you have any kind of suggestions or tips for brand new aspiring bloggers.
    Appreciate it!

    My blog post ...

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love this...I do this sometimes...but I hope to be more focused cos I don't want to give my life to christ twice..lol

    ReplyDelete
  18. Kolawole Tobiloba23 October 2015 at 18:45

    Hahahahahahah...dis happens a lot, may God help our hearts so we dnt keep getting cheated by d devil

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nice piece! Good job Temmy. I had a good laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  20. May our hearts not miss directions, but be guided properly.

    ReplyDelete
  21. wow couldn't help but laugh

    ReplyDelete

Feel free to always express your opinion, but do not abuse others.